Up @ 4am Again

Life is full of so many twists and turns. I really have no complaints. God is doing so many amazing things here at Johnson right now. There are also some tragic things. I have a friend who I was neighbors with for about two years. He is going through some really rough times. I will not go into the details here, but just know he and his family need a lot of prayers right now. His name is Josh Mott. If you want to read their blog its called the Josh Mott Family journey (thejoshmottfamily.blogspot.com).
I guess what I am reflecting on is the whole idea of looking beyond our own circumstances. So often I become so self absorbed that I have a hard time seeing beyond my own little bubble of studying and wrestling with the sins in my life that I tend to leave everything else to hang out to dry. Unfortunately sometimes it takes a tragedy happening to someone else you know pretty well to wake you up and take notice that there is more to life than my own little world. The Lord works in ways that cannot begin to comprehend and He often leaves me with many questions. However, those questions have never been a deterrent for my faith in Him. It is interesting how often we can all get caught up on a gigantic yet tiny little question we like to pose to our Lord. "Why?" It is a question that we have had since we all were little. Kids ask this question to parents all the time. Sometimes to annoy them (At least I did) but most often they are curious about how things work. They are trying to gain understanding of their own little world as they see it constantly changing and growing.
We adults have this question most often for God. We do not ask it to annoy our Savior, we ask it because we desire to have a clearer understanding of how and why He orchestrates life the way He does. It is usually when something difficult or tragic happens in our lives that we turn to God and question Him on how He is running the universe.
The truth is, there are certain things in our lives that do not make sense at the moment, but God usually has something to teach us with whatever struggle we are going through at that moment. So, my new pat answer to these hard questions is instead of asking why; try asking God what He has to show us through this experience. Now..... I believe this is true and most of the time this does help us to work through difficult times; and it does put our eyes on Jesus instead of our circumstances. However, this is not always the easiest thing to do and probably not the best thing to say to someone who is dealing with a terminal illness or a loved one with a terminal illness. These are the things that our human brains cannot wrap themselves around. For many people the whole "just put your faith in Jesus." "Just pray more." "Just trust God," isn't good enough. Well......sometimes faith, prayer, and trust is all we have left and if there is nothing left to hold onto, then what else is there?
I am really not sure where I am going with all of this today. What I do know is that God is, that we living in a fallen world, and that Christ is a great Savior, and that is something I am holding onto as I see how He is working through all that is happening around us. The Lord has blessed us in many ways, and Rachel and I rejoice in that. But, there are others who are close to us who are suffering, and we do not know how God is going to work it all out, but we will keep on praying and trusting. Okay I'm tired and I think I am starting to ramble. May you all have a blessed day today.

Kevin Max - Your Beautiful Mind

This is one of my favorite songs by Kevin Max.

Behr's Christmas

We had a great time being home. THanks to everyone who let us stay with them and visit. We miss everyone and continue to press on.

Trying To Find The Balance

Earlier this evening Rachel and I went out to celebrate her birthday. This may sound weird but it was fun for us, we went to the whole foods store and grabbed a pizza together. We had a wonderful time. Sometimes I can't help but hear other people's conversations about nothing in particular and I wonder what really drives people day in and day out. Sometimes in my heart I am passing judgment on people without even realizing it, thats when God or my dear sweet wife puts me in check reminding me that I'm not all that. This is true. C.S. Lewis once wrote about Pride or Self-Conceit saying, "THe more we have it in ourselves, the more we dislike it in other people." In other words when anybody starts passing judgment onto other people we need to be careful to look in the mirror first, and do a little self examining before we think we are better than anybody else.
I think I had one of those moments tonight. I am sitting here thinking to myself, "Who do I think I am to really pass judgment on someone I do not even know?" That never really benefits anyone no matter where your coming from. In fact that is just the kind of attitude that makes many Christians to look very arrogent, when we are called to be people who are loving others as Christ has loved us.
So as our evening continued we went out to the mall. Which for the two of us is a real rarity. I truly was mesmorized by all that was going on around us. There were so many things to just lure us into different stores. I realized just how simply human I am. The truth sometimes really has a way of bring itself to light when we get too full of ourselves. Everytime this happens I struggle within myself because I know that I never want to be a pompous and proud Bible thumper that simply just pushes people away. Deep in my heart I want to encourage people with the love that Christ has put in my heart. Unfortunately that does not always come through.
Anyway, as we were strolling about the mall amidst all the commercialized craziness of the local mall there was a girl working in a kiosk. She was selling a black magic box. Well, again my first gut reaction is well I don't mess with that kind of stuff. All she wanted to do was show us a card trick. So, I spit out my pride and let her show us her card trick. It was one of those pick a card any card tricks, and sure enough she new what my card was. I have to say it was impressive. It was pretty cool. We then thanked her and went on her way. For some reason though something burning in me wanted to go back and just pray for her for some reason. Of course in this day and age that is becoming a social taboo for anyone nowadays. We just kept on walking and went home. The thing that keeps eating at my heart is this question, "If I really believe what I say I believe why am I afraid to share that with people?" Did I just miss an opportunity to share Christ with somebody? When is it apprpiate to share the Gospel? What will it take for me not to be ashamed to share my faith. How can I do this without pushing people away? At the moment I do not have any real clear answers. Nevertheless, Christ is doing a work in this area of my life, where opportunities like this will continue to come up. I can only pray that Christ will give me the strength to speak the words He would have me share with someone. Not to cram the Gospel down someone's throat, but to simply encourage and lift others up with the hope that Christ will speak for Himself in these different moments.
So there are some of my random thoughts for the evening hoping that each of us continue to grow in Him.

Just Because It's Been Too Long........

The Lord never ceases to amaze me with His grandeur. I am in awe of how He works so intricately in our lives. Each new semester brings with it new and exciting adventure in the world of academia as well as our spiritual walk with Christ. It is not often that I take the time to simply write my thoughts as I used to but inspiration has hit and these fingers need to pour out my heart because this basin is full.

Academia

I will not waste time and thought complaining about the subjects that lack luster in my mind, so let me indulge you with that which is pouring inspiration into my mind. I have embarked this semester in studying the literature of the ancient world and so far it has drawn me into some of the writings of the eastern world religions. Reading excerpts from the Bhagavad Gita, the Mahabharata, pieces from Buddhist literature, some of the Tao Te Ching, and an excerpt from the Koran gave me a taste of where people of a different culture are coming from. I say a little as I have barely even set my toe on the tip of the iceberg with these religions. In my mind there seems to be a common theme in at least the first three religions (Hinduism, Buddhism, and Taoism). There seems to be a constant desire to disconnect from reality. All of these different religious movements including Islam focus on a works based faith to either reach some form of salvation whether it be Nirvana, the Tao, or the Atman. There is something major that simply breaks my heart for people who follow the philosophies of these religions and that is the lack of relationship with their deities. It's fascinating really, that in order to make in these religions you must adhere to so many rules otherwise you simply do not make it. As I read their stories I felt such a sense of hopelessness for them. Now that is not to say that none of them have anything good to offer. On the contrary, many of the philosophical thoughts that these religions present are not that far off from my own Christian faith. There are many great thoughts of wisdom given on how to live a good life from each of them, it is just simply the means of reaching the peace and tranquility that they so long for that creates a gap between the followers and the deities, not to mention that these other deities do not lead one to paradise. This class has also blessed me with readings from the Iliad and other Greek poetry that just gets some of these creative juices flowing.
The other class that really has inspired me and even requires me to write my own verse once again is Old Testament Poetry. Wow what an amazing journey through the book of Job, Proverbs, Psalms,The Song of Solomon, and Ecclesiastes. Looking deeper into the meaning of what the Jewish authors had to share just brings these Hebrew Scriptures to life.

Faith
IN grappling with reading the ancient writings God continues to mold and shape Rachel and I on a daily basis. Constantly we learn how to rely on God's grace and love in our life together and individually.
As a couple we constantly rely on God to provide for our needs financially at the same time exercising the desire to be good stewards of those finances when it comes to school and other opportunities that come our way. Keeping Christ at the center of our relationship continues to be the foundation and mortar that binds us together.
Individually I can only speak for myself. Food is constantly a spiritual battle for me everyday not simply to eat right, but more so to eat proportionately. Each day is a struggle in this area of my life to honor God with how and what I eat. Too often I allow food to become my idol. Nevertheless the Lord encourages and strengthens me in that struggle. Learning to allow God to lead every step that I take is not a lesson in futility, it is an exercise in eternity. What I mean by that is that no matter how much I may struggle in spiritual walk Christ is still every ounce of strength that I have and the more I embrace that fact the more He continues to draw me to Him. Today was an awesome example of that. I was working on some homework in my office this afternoon and felt this tugging on my heart. Not a physical tugging but this intangible feeling that I needed to just stop everything that I was doing and simply pray. Talk to God. I felt as though God was saying come on over, spend some time with me, I want to fill you up and encourage you. All of a sudden there was this unexplainable desire to be with the LORD and jump into His Word. For once I did not fight it, I just simply followed, obeyed, and truly had fellowship with Jesus.
My hope is for whoever reads this that Christ will begin to tug on each of your hearts and that you will find inspiration in God's Word in your lives. May Christ be your strength each and everyday.

" The LORD bless you and keep you;
the LORD make His face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn His face toward you
and give you peace."
Numbers 6:24-26

Our Best and Yummiest Discovery

Recipe for: The Yummiest Beans and Rice

To prepare: Preheat skillet or pan for cooking, add oil after preheated

Ingredients		Directions
Olive Oil 4 Large Cloves Garlic, minced 1 Medium Onion Vegetables of your choice 1/8 t cayenne 1/8 t black pepper 1 t Cumin ¾ t ground coriander (or you can also use fresh cilantro, and you would put in more than ¾ t of chopped fresh cilantro.) 1 t dried basil ¼ t oregano 1-14 oz. can diced tomatoes Rice and Beans-canned or cooked from dry (any type) Sea Salt		Sauté garlic, onions and vegetables in olive oil. Add seasonings and sea salt to taste. Add the tomatoes. Add in Rice and Beans. Cook until desired warmth and consistency. Enjoy!   ~~In place of diced tomatoes, we've used spaghetti sauce, tomato puree, or any other type of canned tomato product and they all seem to work well.

Two More Recipes

Recipe for: Tunafish Beans and Rice

To prepare: Preheat skillet or pan for cooking, add oil after preheated

Ingredients	Directions
Garlic Onion Olive Oil Mushrooms Flour (1 T for every 2 T of oil– white, wheat, or buckwheat can be used) Milk (milk substitute works fine if dairy-free is needed) Vegetables of your choice Tuna Dill Seasoning Sea Salt Black Pepper Rice and Beans-canned or cooked from dry (any type)	Sauté garlic, onions and mushrooms in olive oil. Add enough oil after sautéing to make a paste with the flour so that the sauce can be made. Add in sea salt, pepper, and dill seasoning to taste. Add in vegetables and tuna. Enjoy!

Recipe for: Italian Beans and Rice

To prepare: Preheat skillet or pan for cooking, add oil after preheated

Ingredients	Directions
Olive Oil Garlic Onion Oregano Basil Italian Seasoning (if desired) Italian Dressing Vegetables of your choice Rice (Brown is preferable) Beans- canned or cooked from dry	Sauté garlic, onions and vegetables in olive oil. Add in seasonings and Italian Dressing. Add in Rice and Beans. Cook until desired warmth and consistency.   Enjoy!