Still Being Transformed

It is truly amazing how just when we think that God is not doing much He has a way to reveal to us quite the opposite. We have been back in Michigan for ten months months. We spent three months in Fremont with my Grandma Behr and Aunt Sara. In that time I have been searching for a ministry position that would be the right fit. I had a few bites but nothing that really panned out. We found it very difficult to find any work for Rachel or myself over that period of time. I definitely had moment when I felt like I had failed God, and failed my wife. I thought, okay God I am trying to be faithful to what you are calling me to do but with no results. That is when I was reminded of a very powerful verse in my life. In His Heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9 Over the course of the summer I believe that God began a new process of molding us and preparing us for what He wants us to do in the course of our ministry. For a long time I waited to get too involved in any churches too deeply because I was sure that God was going to place me where He wanted me. So in my heart I was trying to plan the course that God is still determining for our life. Then after about a month of job searching God providing for me a job at Duhnam's Sports in Fremont. It paid minimum wage and the hours were scarce. However God provided food for our table. That job held us over a little bit as we continued to look for work. Still in my mind I kept wondering what on earth God was waiting for with a church. At this point Rachel and I started studying the fruit of the Spirit together and I started to wonder how am I living out these fruits in my life right now. The Fruit of the Spirit are found in Galatians. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,kindness, goodness,faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Galatians 5:22-23 It was when I started to realize that I was not living much of any of these out because I was so focused on what was not going on. I neglected to let Jesus love me in the moment. Well, He probably was loving on us but I was too self absorbed in my own self pity to receive it. It was through this study that God started to open my eyes to the way God was transforming us. Little did I know that He was just beginning His work in us. Since our experiences over the summer the Lord has relocated us back to my home town of Grand Rapids where even more molding had taken place. I love the picture of the refiners fire because it always reminds me of the time I watched a guy take molting glass which looked like a big blob of goo as he put it through the fires. Through this process he shaped it into these beautiful lamp tops. It makes me think that that is how God works in us. Being molded hurts and we have to be put into the fire so we remain pliable in His hands. Then as God pulls us out of the fire He molds and shapes us into the the beautiful creations He designed us to be. In my case He uses a freezer at about -11 degrees below zero. The idea is the same though as we learn to be content with where God has us at the moment and we give Him praise whether we feel joyful or not; knowing that God is using each moment, each step, and each experience Rachel and I face together as a married couple and as followers of Christ to become the people He has created us to be. So as we all face different challenges and battles in our lives, keep in mind that God is molding us and revealing to each of us piece by piece; our part in God's story. May you allow God to transform you in His hands as you journey with Christ.

When God Doesn't Make Sense

Sometimes God just doesn't make sense. We try to make sense of the things we do not understand. We see all the horrible things that happen in our world today and we ask, "Where is God?" Sometimes we do not realize that He is right here with us even in these hard moments. In the last month there have been eight murders in our area. We do not know why. There is nothing that can make logical sense as to why someone would do something like that to anybody. Then we look at the school massacre that happened not to long ago that rocked our whole country. What I find interesting is that there are so many of us in this country that either do not believe in God and struggle with His very existence; yet God is the first one we want to be angry at or blame for the tragedies that happen in this world. Questions arise like, "If God is so good and all powerful why does He not stop evil from happening in this world?" "Why do people have to suffer and die?" "How can God let little children be raped and murdered?" "Why? Why? Why?" Why, is the biggest little question that humans have been trying to answer for years. The problem is is we cannot find a logical answer to satisfy our own understanding. We can take this down to the not so drastic level by looking at our everyday living. Why doesn't God just make it so we no longer commit sin. Is God not capable of making us sinless? These are all real questions. To be quite honest I personally do not believe that we can have all of our why questions answered. Think about this, if God just took over and manipulated every situation to be such that there was no more suffering in the world wouldn't we be more like marionettes being played and moved by a heavenly puppeteer? I do not think God intended for us to live that way. IF God made this world in such a way that no one was able to kill each other or even more so that they no longer had the choice to make between right and wrong we would simply be just another program in this matrix we call life. The truth is, God never intended for us to suffer. He did not create us to die. He created us to be in relationship with Him. If we look back at Genesis chapter three it was us who turned our backs on God. We chose to eat of the fruit. We chose to listen to the serpent rather trusting God about that one simple tree. It was that one simple decision that both Eve and Adam made when they thought that God was holding something out on them. The reality is God was protecting us from all that He knows of good and evil in this world. So is God trying to keep us spiritually nieve? No, He did not want us to suffer all that we have suffered. When we decided to give into the temptation at the beginning this beautiful world that God created was no longer perfect. Sin was birthed by our choice to chose the knowledge of good and evil over trusting that God knows what is the better choice for us. This is where the story gets exciting. Although we were born into this sin and those that do not have any faith in God there is still hope. This is why he came to us in human form in the man Jesus. This is why Jesus is so vital to our faith, and our relationship with God. It is not about following a religion. This is about the God of the universe wanting to restore back into the beautiful relationship we once had with Him. When we accept Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior we are no longer slaves to sin. By the power of Christ's sacrifice on the cross and His conquering of death we are able to say no to sin. That is where our freedom lies. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. That is the key. When we reach all these seemingly unanswerable questions (and some of them do not have an answer in our time), that is where our faith in Jesus comes in. He will straighten things out in HIS time; not ours. We will find our encouragement when we let go of our desires and give them all into His hands. That is where we will find our peace. I love what Augustine said when he spoke these words, "My heart is restless until it finds it's peace in You." That is so true. We are restless until we give ourselves completely to God. We may not find all the answers we want right now, but then again maybe we weren't meant to have them. I pray that who ever reads this and they are struggling with the unanswered questions that it does not turn them away from God but draws them deeper into the Scripture that you may never have to wrestle alone. Have a good week and wrestle well.