This morning I woke up later that usual yet earlier than I desired. God usually has something to tell us when we have these moments. Many of you know that I have struggled with my weight my whole life. The core of all the weight I gained consisted of eating fast food, extremely large portions, and not exercising. By the time I married Rachel I weighed 427 pounds. We knew that this was unhealthy and something needed to be done. We tried many diets. We tried exercising but would fall short frustrating our efforts. We prayed long and hard seeking God what He desired for our lives. What He laid on our hearts has transformed our lives. To make a Shrek reference This journey is like peeling an onion. God is peeling off the layers.
The first layer to go consisted I change in our thinking about what food is. Food had become a god to me. Whenever anger overwhelmed me I hit Wendy's, Burger King, or Taco Bell. The same thing happened during depression, fear, frustration, or even for celebration. Eating what I wanted and how much I wanted is exactly what I lived for. It became a wall between my relationship with God, and sometimes between my relationship with others. I started to recognize this as a spiritual battle. The focus on food had to change. After the diets didn't work we decided this cannot be I diet to quickly lose weight so that we look better. It needs to be an attitude shift to becoming healthier. Changing my thoughts from "What are we going to eat next," to "How can I honor God," became the battle cry. Beginning with the expulsion of Carbonated beverages the first ten pounds were shed in a matter of weeks.
For the next layer we peeled off the white carbs and changed everything over to whole grain wheat carbs for everything. This was the first major taste bud adjustment. After a few months of this we got used to the new flavor and actually enjoy it far better than any white pasta or bread. At this point we started to notice that we did not feel as lethargic after we ate.
Once the white carbs were abolished we noticed that there are a lot of chemicals and preservatives added into most of the foods we still ate. For example frozen pizza (even the "whole grain" thin crust), most meat such as bacon, sausage, yes even turkey sausage, hamburger, etc. These foods we needed to be weened off of because they were such a part of our regular diet. This took a number of months to get used to. At times I felt like we were running out of food that we could eat. Of course fruits and vegetables made their grand entrance at this point.
Salads, stir fry (Cooked in Olive Oil, not vegetable oil), Steamed fresh vegetables, fresh fruit (no more canned goods), all took precedence over this meat and potatoes lifestyle. At first I felt a little weak, but the more natural foods we ate the more energy we had. Stress had been prevalent in our lives at this point and Rachel started having stomach problems.
This was a tumultuous time in our lives because everything Rachel would try to eat upset her stomach. This took us to and extremely restricted diet (especially for Rachel) of Fruits, vegetables, and buckwheat pancakes for protein. This became a consistent challenge for many months. I was still eating beans, rice, pastas, and oatmeal. Through all of this we constantly sought God for strength and direction. After visiting the chiropractor we discovered the root of Rachel's stomach problems. After a month of getting her back adjusted her stomach problems became less and less. She was able to eat foods other than the fruit, vegetable, buckwheat diet. We were over joyed to have a piece of Chicken again, or even a whole wheat biscuit. Beans and rice made their way back into both of our diets. Once in a while we even go out to a restaurant. This brings us to the layer that we are working on peeling away from the onion of gluttony.
Portion sizes, are a tough layer to peel away. I now desire to honor God with everything that I eat, but even healthy food taken in by unhealthy amounts is still sinful and gluttonous. I still struggle to keep myself from going back for seconds and thirds. My struggle with food came to a head this week as I had a flare up of gout in my big toe. It enlarged to double its normal size and the pain was almost unbearable. I compensated how I walked all week making my previously sprained ankle swell back up to the point that I could barely walk on Friday.
This weekend I stayed off of my foot most of Saturday as well as most of today. God is constantly teaching me how to rely on Him for strength to battle this addiction to overeating. Especially when I am not in pain. I weighed in yesterday at 309 pounds, a weight I haven't seen since my early high school days. I thought wow we are victorious. Then God reminded me that I'm not out of the woods yet, and the victory belongs to Him.
So my prayer this week is that God will continue to help me humble myself before Him and to lean on His strength moment by moment whether I am in pain or not in pain. Whether I eat or drink or whatever I do may it all be done to the glory of God, 1Corinthians 10:31. I took a look at Romans 7 today that prompted these thoughts and prayers. I pray that whatever any of us do whether we are eating, drinking, talking, or interacting with others, we can remember that Christ is the only one who can deliver us from the bondage of our own sins. May Paul's words bring you all encouragement today.
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