Contentment -- A lesson not easily learned (Rachel)

What does it mean to be content – truly content? This is something that I’ve struggled with consciously and subconsciously for a long time! However, it is a lesson that the Lord has been gently teaching me probably all of my life, but more specifically in the past five or so years. About 5 years ago, a godly pastor prayed for my heart to be content. At the time, I was a bit resentful thinking “he doesn’t even understand what I’m going through and the difficulties that I face right now.” However, this morning in the early hours (2:30 am to be specific), the Lord finally allowed the scales to come off of my eyes so that I could see that His desire is not for all the circumstances of my life to make me content, but that in the midst of difficult and sometimes very frustrating circumstances to find my contentment in Him. For a long time, I thought that in order to be content I had to stuff down how I was feeling about certain situations and pretend to enjoy and be happy and I struggled and struggled to try and do this. However, this morning He has helped me to begin to see that even though I don’t like certain situations and/or circumstances, He desires for me to be content in Him meaning that I trust Him and His hand in my circumstances. When my heart is not content, I am saying to Him that He is not trustworthy with the events of my life. When I am content with Him even in difficult times, I am saying “God, I trust You and what You are doing in and through me in this circumstance. You have been, are now, and always will be trustworthy with the circumstances of my life.” Thank You, Jesus, for loving me enough to allow circumstances in my life to be sometimes difficult so that I can learn to trust You in them. Thank You for being more concerned with my character and molding me into Your image than in my desire to be happy and have everything go my way. Lord, You are so good and merciful and patient and faithful! I cannot praise You enough! You are worthy of so much more, but I offer You my heart and my life. Please help me as I continue to learn this lesson of being content in You. I realize that this may be a lifelong struggle, but I know that You are always right beside me through my struggles. I love You, Jesus!