Still Being Transformed

It is truly amazing how just when we think that God is not doing much He has a way to reveal to us quite the opposite. We have been back in Michigan for ten months months. We spent three months in Fremont with my Grandma Behr and Aunt Sara. In that time I have been searching for a ministry position that would be the right fit. I had a few bites but nothing that really panned out. We found it very difficult to find any work for Rachel or myself over that period of time. I definitely had moment when I felt like I had failed God, and failed my wife. I thought, okay God I am trying to be faithful to what you are calling me to do but with no results. That is when I was reminded of a very powerful verse in my life. In His Heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9 Over the course of the summer I believe that God began a new process of molding us and preparing us for what He wants us to do in the course of our ministry. For a long time I waited to get too involved in any churches too deeply because I was sure that God was going to place me where He wanted me. So in my heart I was trying to plan the course that God is still determining for our life. Then after about a month of job searching God providing for me a job at Duhnam's Sports in Fremont. It paid minimum wage and the hours were scarce. However God provided food for our table. That job held us over a little bit as we continued to look for work. Still in my mind I kept wondering what on earth God was waiting for with a church. At this point Rachel and I started studying the fruit of the Spirit together and I started to wonder how am I living out these fruits in my life right now. The Fruit of the Spirit are found in Galatians. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,kindness, goodness,faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Galatians 5:22-23 It was when I started to realize that I was not living much of any of these out because I was so focused on what was not going on. I neglected to let Jesus love me in the moment. Well, He probably was loving on us but I was too self absorbed in my own self pity to receive it. It was through this study that God started to open my eyes to the way God was transforming us. Little did I know that He was just beginning His work in us. Since our experiences over the summer the Lord has relocated us back to my home town of Grand Rapids where even more molding had taken place. I love the picture of the refiners fire because it always reminds me of the time I watched a guy take molting glass which looked like a big blob of goo as he put it through the fires. Through this process he shaped it into these beautiful lamp tops. It makes me think that that is how God works in us. Being molded hurts and we have to be put into the fire so we remain pliable in His hands. Then as God pulls us out of the fire He molds and shapes us into the the beautiful creations He designed us to be. In my case He uses a freezer at about -11 degrees below zero. The idea is the same though as we learn to be content with where God has us at the moment and we give Him praise whether we feel joyful or not; knowing that God is using each moment, each step, and each experience Rachel and I face together as a married couple and as followers of Christ to become the people He has created us to be. So as we all face different challenges and battles in our lives, keep in mind that God is molding us and revealing to each of us piece by piece; our part in God's story. May you allow God to transform you in His hands as you journey with Christ.

When God Doesn't Make Sense

Sometimes God just doesn't make sense. We try to make sense of the things we do not understand. We see all the horrible things that happen in our world today and we ask, "Where is God?" Sometimes we do not realize that He is right here with us even in these hard moments. In the last month there have been eight murders in our area. We do not know why. There is nothing that can make logical sense as to why someone would do something like that to anybody. Then we look at the school massacre that happened not to long ago that rocked our whole country. What I find interesting is that there are so many of us in this country that either do not believe in God and struggle with His very existence; yet God is the first one we want to be angry at or blame for the tragedies that happen in this world. Questions arise like, "If God is so good and all powerful why does He not stop evil from happening in this world?" "Why do people have to suffer and die?" "How can God let little children be raped and murdered?" "Why? Why? Why?" Why, is the biggest little question that humans have been trying to answer for years. The problem is is we cannot find a logical answer to satisfy our own understanding. We can take this down to the not so drastic level by looking at our everyday living. Why doesn't God just make it so we no longer commit sin. Is God not capable of making us sinless? These are all real questions. To be quite honest I personally do not believe that we can have all of our why questions answered. Think about this, if God just took over and manipulated every situation to be such that there was no more suffering in the world wouldn't we be more like marionettes being played and moved by a heavenly puppeteer? I do not think God intended for us to live that way. IF God made this world in such a way that no one was able to kill each other or even more so that they no longer had the choice to make between right and wrong we would simply be just another program in this matrix we call life. The truth is, God never intended for us to suffer. He did not create us to die. He created us to be in relationship with Him. If we look back at Genesis chapter three it was us who turned our backs on God. We chose to eat of the fruit. We chose to listen to the serpent rather trusting God about that one simple tree. It was that one simple decision that both Eve and Adam made when they thought that God was holding something out on them. The reality is God was protecting us from all that He knows of good and evil in this world. So is God trying to keep us spiritually nieve? No, He did not want us to suffer all that we have suffered. When we decided to give into the temptation at the beginning this beautiful world that God created was no longer perfect. Sin was birthed by our choice to chose the knowledge of good and evil over trusting that God knows what is the better choice for us. This is where the story gets exciting. Although we were born into this sin and those that do not have any faith in God there is still hope. This is why he came to us in human form in the man Jesus. This is why Jesus is so vital to our faith, and our relationship with God. It is not about following a religion. This is about the God of the universe wanting to restore back into the beautiful relationship we once had with Him. When we accept Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior we are no longer slaves to sin. By the power of Christ's sacrifice on the cross and His conquering of death we are able to say no to sin. That is where our freedom lies. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. That is the key. When we reach all these seemingly unanswerable questions (and some of them do not have an answer in our time), that is where our faith in Jesus comes in. He will straighten things out in HIS time; not ours. We will find our encouragement when we let go of our desires and give them all into His hands. That is where we will find our peace. I love what Augustine said when he spoke these words, "My heart is restless until it finds it's peace in You." That is so true. We are restless until we give ourselves completely to God. We may not find all the answers we want right now, but then again maybe we weren't meant to have them. I pray that who ever reads this and they are struggling with the unanswered questions that it does not turn them away from God but draws them deeper into the Scripture that you may never have to wrestle alone. Have a good week and wrestle well.

Looking Back on 2012

I am sitting at Panera Bread with Rachel right now and I am thinking about where God has taken us in the past twelve months. It is really hard to believe that we are no longer at Johnson. The time really does move too fast. Johnson feels like a distant memory now. This time last year I was cramming for exams and wondering where God was going to take us in the world of ministry. Now I am here in Grand Rapids currently working at Gordon Foods Services (Marketplace) as the man in the freezer. I have no doubt that God has a purpose for this time but it has been an interesting journey. A couple of weeks after graduation Rachel and I made our way to Michigan in our car followed by a nice Penske Truck. We stayed at my mom's for a couple of days and then on to Grand Rapids. After packing as much stuff into my step mom's basement we heading to Fremont where we stayed with my Aunt Sara and Grandma Behr. Already God blessed us with a place to store our belongs and summer home for a few months. I was able to work at Dunham's in Fremont for part of that time. By the end of August we saw our need to look for a job that would help bring in a little more financial support so I applied at GFS and have been working in Cascade ever since. Rachel has been blessed with a full time interventionist job helping under privileged kids with their school work. In that time we moved in with my step mom and have turned her basement into a small apartment for the time being. It has been a wonderful experience and we feel very blessed. However there is something still stirring in both of us. There is this nagging feeling in my heart to get back into ministry. I am excited to see what God is going to do next as we continue to circulate my resume and pray for the leading of God's Spirit with every church we look at. As we learn to wait so many thoughts travel through our minds. At one point I was certain God wanted to use us here in Grand Rapids (He may still). At other moments we thought He had other places in Michigan that He wanted us to serve. So far we are still waiting for a clear picture of God's will. Even if that means letting go of our hope to live in Michigan. Sometimes we must let go of we want in order to do what He wants. That is the most exciting, frustrating, curious, and interesting place to be. We still have no clue as to what God wants us to do, but what we have learned in this time of waiting is that we want to follow God, we want to serve Him with our whole hearts, and we want to help others have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. This is the point where God is telling us, "This is all you need to know... for now." So as we continue to seek God for His wisdom and guidance continue to pray that we will have willing hearts to follow Him wherever He leads. We continue to wait, but we are in a good waiting place at this point where we can truly focus our hearts and minds on what Christ is doing in our lives right now. We give thanks to God for all of you who are praying for us as we continue on our journey following Jesus whether He is moving us or having us wait. In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.- Proverbs 16:9 Have a great week everyone.

Beyond the Dinner Table

Thanksgiving has become my favorite holiday over the past few years. It is a time that you come together with family. It is a time that you truly give thanks to God for all that you have been blessed with. I have so many memories of thanksgivings past. I remember being taught about the Pilgrims and how the Indians helped them through their first winter. I remember going to my grandmother's house with all of my mom's family. I remember the smell of turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, among other wonderful foods. What sticks out the most to me though is this Thanksgiving that I spent with Rachel. It was just the two of us this year. It was wonderful. We had a nice quiet day together. There was no rushing or running around. We were so thankful for how God has provided for us in the past year. It wasn't about the food. It wasn't about gorging ourselves on turkey. It was about being together and giving thanks to God for His presence constantly working in our life together. My prayer is that this Thanksgiving was an experience that moved beyond the dinner table and into your hearts. May each of you be blessed in the coming year that you cannot help but be thankful with each moment.

Wilderness

God does amazing things in our lives each day as we travel the road He desires for our lives. More often than not that road does not look the way we would have carved it out. God has a way of shaping our road the way He sees fit. This is one of the most difficult ideas I have struggled to wrap my mind around as a Christian. Of course that is the moment that God reveals the egotistical road that that mindset takes me down as His follower. When I travel down the road of self; it really is not truly following God's will because I want to put parameters on it. It sounds really nice to tell people that I want to go where God wants me to go, and deep down that really is true. The fact of the matter is this.... More often than not I want to go where I am comfortable. I want to do God's will so long as His will fits my will. "Lord, I'll do whatever you want except.... I go where ever you want me to go except there." When we put parameters on God's will we really are not fully surrendered to what He wants us to do. That does not mean God will not use us to glorify His Kingdom; because eventually He will find a way to bring us around to His will until we finally do raise our white flag to give Him glory,truly following after Him. As I am in my own wilderness I believe that God is using both Rachel and I. I believe this battle of my will versus God's will is soon coming to an end with God having the victory and me saying oh so that is what you were trying to show me. God has blessed us in so many ways. He brought us through four years of college at Johnson University (Johnson Bible College)completely debt free. In fact He even helped us to pay off the rest of the debt I had acquired years ago before I even met Rachel. He helped me to attain a 4.0 my last semester there. God taught Rachel and I so many ways to trust Him and to lean on His plan for our lives. An interesting thought about how He shaped and molded us over the last four years is this.... God is not finished with us. He is still at work in our lives; even when we do not know what He is doing. We are all unfinished work. Whether you want to use the image of a potter, a sculpture, and gardener or whatever; this idea remains. God continues to do His work in us no matter how stubborn we are. No matter how much we want to think that we have control of our lives; God truly has a far better plan than we could ever imagine. That is where our hope lies. Our hope is in the plan that God continues to orchestrate in our lives each day. That same message Christ lays out for each of us. It is simply a matter of whether or not we choose to be receptive to His plan. That is both the beauty and curse of free will. Jesus does not force His will on us. We have the freedom to choose our own path, do our own thing, or make our own plan. However, when we choose this path it often ends up becoming much more difficult. When we surrender our plans to God's plan it does not necessarily become easier, but we turn our eyes to a greater purpose than our own and inste

ad of putting our plans in front of God's plan; our plans become God's plan as we let our own human desires die and seek to do what He desires. It is an interesting and often times difficult transition to take in life but the rewards on the other side are blessed and eternal. This is the return of the Behr's Trails. My hope is that we may share what God is doing in our lives and perhaps God can show all of us some insights as we all travel our own road. May you allow Christ to do His work in your hearts this week by letting go of your idea of control and embracing that God is in control and wants to do amazing things in each of your lives. "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9

Approaching the Desert?

Once again it is been a large gap from our last post. May the gaps fill in. As it is reaching the wee hours of twilight this ole Behr is heading for a short hibernation. However there will be more to come soon to bring you all back up to speed with our life. Stay tuned.

Up @ 4am Again

Life is full of so many twists and turns. I really have no complaints. God is doing so many amazing things here at Johnson right now. There are also some tragic things. I have a friend who I was neighbors with for about two years. He is going through some really rough times. I will not go into the details here, but just know he and his family need a lot of prayers right now. His name is Josh Mott. If you want to read their blog its called the Josh Mott Family journey (thejoshmottfamily.blogspot.com).
I guess what I am reflecting on is the whole idea of looking beyond our own circumstances. So often I become so self absorbed that I have a hard time seeing beyond my own little bubble of studying and wrestling with the sins in my life that I tend to leave everything else to hang out to dry. Unfortunately sometimes it takes a tragedy happening to someone else you know pretty well to wake you up and take notice that there is more to life than my own little world. The Lord works in ways that cannot begin to comprehend and He often leaves me with many questions. However, those questions have never been a deterrent for my faith in Him. It is interesting how often we can all get caught up on a gigantic yet tiny little question we like to pose to our Lord. "Why?" It is a question that we have had since we all were little. Kids ask this question to parents all the time. Sometimes to annoy them (At least I did) but most often they are curious about how things work. They are trying to gain understanding of their own little world as they see it constantly changing and growing.
We adults have this question most often for God. We do not ask it to annoy our Savior, we ask it because we desire to have a clearer understanding of how and why He orchestrates life the way He does. It is usually when something difficult or tragic happens in our lives that we turn to God and question Him on how He is running the universe.
The truth is, there are certain things in our lives that do not make sense at the moment, but God usually has something to teach us with whatever struggle we are going through at that moment. So, my new pat answer to these hard questions is instead of asking why; try asking God what He has to show us through this experience. Now..... I believe this is true and most of the time this does help us to work through difficult times; and it does put our eyes on Jesus instead of our circumstances. However, this is not always the easiest thing to do and probably not the best thing to say to someone who is dealing with a terminal illness or a loved one with a terminal illness. These are the things that our human brains cannot wrap themselves around. For many people the whole "just put your faith in Jesus." "Just pray more." "Just trust God," isn't good enough. Well......sometimes faith, prayer, and trust is all we have left and if there is nothing left to hold onto, then what else is there?
I am really not sure where I am going with all of this today. What I do know is that God is, that we living in a fallen world, and that Christ is a great Savior, and that is something I am holding onto as I see how He is working through all that is happening around us. The Lord has blessed us in many ways, and Rachel and I rejoice in that. But, there are others who are close to us who are suffering, and we do not know how God is going to work it all out, but we will keep on praying and trusting. Okay I'm tired and I think I am starting to ramble. May you all have a blessed day today.